


and then they are bored of me

by ecv-197 (lazyfish)



Series: i'm a liability [2]
Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: F/F, S2E13: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, Sedoretu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 01:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21045878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/ecv-197
Summary: The past version of herself is challenging all of Kelly's relationships.





	and then they are bored of me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of the sedoretu saga! If you haven't read the first part of this series this fic might not make as much sense. :)

Kelly felt like shit.

The arrival of her past self on the ship had been fine at first, but it seemed like everything had rapidly gone downhill. Ed wanted to sleep with her and every time she went into the mess hall, Talla was with her past self, laughing.

Both of the people she loved liked her better seven years ago, and it  _ sucked _ .

Kelly had taken to spending her free time in her room, where she didn’t have to see her past self laughing and flirting and having fun with the crew members in a way she had never allowed herself to in the present. It wasn’t proper - just like it wasn’t proper for the first officer of a star ship to date the ship’s captain. But turning back the clock seven years made everything proper again, and her past self could do everything her present self wasn’t allowed to. 

It shouldn’t have hurt. Kelly had already lived those days of carefree fun, had already had her chance to be as wild as she wanted without the fear of repercussions paralyzing her. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. She wasn’t above admitting it mostly hurt because of Ed and Talla, but she had given Ed her blessing to pursue the relationship with her past self (or at least not stopped him), and Talla was… Talla was Talla, and what they had hardly gave Kelly the right to dictate who her partner could or couldn’t be friends with.

Her comm beeped in her ear, and Kelly sighed heavily, curling herself up on the couch in her quarters. It wasn’t like making herself smaller would make the comm call go away, but she felt a little safer with her knees against her chest.

“Keyali to Grayson.”

Just what she needed. “Here,” she answered crisply.

“Have you gotten dinner yet?”

Kelly looked at the plate of food that sat untouched on her coffee table. She had synthesized it to avoid going to the mess hall and seeing her past self chatting with anyone and everyone. It was a rare act of self-pity, but it was done. “Yeah, I have, actually.”

“Did you come to the mess hall?”

“Nah,” Kelly responded, forcing herself to sound casual. “Didn’t really feel like talking to anyone.”

A pause stretched on long enough to make Kelly wonder if Talla had disconnected. Then - “Can I come over?”

Kelly swallowed hard. “Why?”

“Do I have to have a reason?”

And there was no good way to answer that, not without showing her hand. “No, just curious. See you soon.”

Kelly ended the call, then huffed out another sigh. She needed to be okay - or at least okay enough that Talla didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. She wasn’t going to be jealous of herself; that was just stupid. 

She unfurled herself just long enough to grab the meal she had synthesized earlier, stabbing at a bite of it so Talla wouldn’t immediately call her on her lie. Kelly only managed two bites more before she had to set the food back down, her stomach turning uncomfortably. She didn’t feel like eating, she didn’t feel like being around people… what was wrong with her? She needed to talk to Claire; a conversation with the other woman always helped her get her head on straight.

The doorbell chimed, and Kelly put on her game face, which was just a small smile suitable for her girlfriend visiting her quarters. “Come in!” she called, voice light.

Talla stepped through the door and immediately shut it behind her. She made a beeline for the couch, plopping down next to Kelly. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Kelly hoped her smile didn’t look as fake as it felt.

“I’m going to cut to the chase. You’re upset about something, and I want to know what.”

Shit. “I’m not upset.” 

“Kelly, I know we haven’t been together that long, but come on. You can tell me.” Talla reached for her hand, and Kelly didn’t have the courage to pull away.

“Do you like her better?” The words came out much more vulnerable-sounding than Kelly was comfortable with. Everything that had happened with Talla so far was easy, fun. Sure, Kelly had needed to learn a lot about Xeleya and Xeleyan culture, but it wasn’t like this. Even expressing her emotions to Ed was still hard sometimes, and she had been married to him for years. Letting someone new in was risky, and she didn’t like it.

Talla, for her part, looked more confused by the question than angered. “You mean past Kelly?” Well, at least Talla wasn’t calling her young Kelly like Gordon had been.

“Yeah.” Kelly looked down at her lap. Her chest was aching and tight, a physical reflection of her discomfort with… everything.

“Why would you think that?” Talla whispered.

“Ed wants to be with her.” Kelly’s voice cracked halfway through the sentence. “And you’ve been spending a lot of time with her, and I guess… she’s me, without the baggage. Without the history with Ed. And I know you said that’s not a problem for you,” especially not since Ed would add another corner to their half-complete sedoretu, “but it seems like you like her better.”

Talla reached up to brush a strand of hair behind Kelly’s ear. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t like her, but it’s not the way I like you. And for the record, the Ed thing is a little messed up.”

Kelly burbled out a laugh, her eyes stinging. Messed up didn’t even begin to cover how she felt about past Kelly and Ed, but it was well past her speak now moment. She just had to stomach it the same way she had stomached the rest of the situation.

“Hey,” Talla murmured, drawing Kelly’s attention back to her. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Is it?” And that was where Kelly wouldn’t let herself go. What if past Kelly never got back to the past? What if she and Ed kept dating - what if Ed found happiness with the other version of her? It was horrible enough to think of Ed loving anyone else, but thinking of him loving her but not her made Kelly sick to her stomach.

“I’ll make it okay.” Talla’s eyes glimmered fiercely. Kelly recognized that look - when Talla got her mind on something, she was just as bullheaded as Kelly about it. It was one of the ways they were alike. It was also a reason it would benefit them in the long run to have another person or two in their relationship; two stubborn people set against each other was never a good thing without someone to temper them.

Talla slid her fingers out of Kelly’s, pulling Kelly into her lap instead. Sometimes Kelly still forgot how strong Talla was, but it was little things like the ease with which her girlfriend moved her around that made Kelly remember.

Talla was warm, and Kelly added it to her list of questions to ask about Xeleyans someday. She could just as easily pick up a xenobiology book and find the entry on Xeleyans to figure out if Talla running hot was a hallmark of her species or something uniquely her, but Kelly liked asking Talla questions. Talla didn’t seem to mind answering, either, and she asked plenty of questions of her own. It was fun, and it meant they hadn’t run out of things to talk about on any of their dates so far.

Kelly’s hand drifted under the collar of Talla’s uniform jacket - she really ought to take that off now - to find the ever-present leather cord. It still had Talla’s midnight blue bead on it, but there was a second bead, too, in the canary yellow that was emblematic of a Morning woman. It was there because of Kelly, and her relationship to Talla, and the physical mark of it was more soothing than it probably should have been. Her finger skimmed over the bead, then the necklace itself.

“No one else has asked about it yet,” Talla informed Kelly softly.

“Too bad.” They had decided to keep their relationship mostly private for a myriad of reasons - the Ed complication being only one of them. They had also decided, though, that if anyone asked about Talla’s necklace, the truth would come out. As nice as it was for things to be between them and relatively uncomplicated, it would be a different kind of freeing to have everyone know. 

“What if past you asks?”

“Tell her.” Kelly was surprised by how easily the words slid out. “She hasn’t read my logs or she would’ve known already.”

Talla hummed a low note. “Can I stay tonight?”

Kelly froze. They hadn’t done the stay-the-night thing yet.

“Just sleeping,” Talla added, which abated Kelly’s worries somewhat. She didn’t want their first time together to be marred by ugliness - and Kelly didn’t trust herself not to have sex just to shove away her feelings about Ed and her past self probably doing the same thing on their date.

“Sure.” Having Talla close was helping chase away her fears about not being wanted and being second-best to herself. Sleeping in the same bed was a step, but it was obvious what Talla was trying to say with the gesture: she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Come on, then.” Talla stood up, one arm hooked under Kelly’s legs and the other at her back to carry her bridal style. The movement was effortless, and it drew a surprised laugh out of Kelly. 

“It’s nineteen hundred hours, Talla, we don’t have to sleep yet!” Kelly said, laughter still on her lips.

“Maybe I lied about the just sleeping bit,” Talla said as she picked her way across Kelly’s living quarters and to the door of her bedroom. “Kissing, and talking,  _ then _ sleeping.”

There was no way Kelly could say no to that - not when the knot in the pit of her stomach finally seemed to be unwinding, and kissing had been missing from their conversation thus far. It wouldn’t be a bad way to spend the rest of her night.


End file.
